Illogical
by The Fair Ophelia
Summary: - "Love is rarely logical, Spock". Spock and Uhura share a moment


Spock sat very still on the cushion on the floor, the candles in front of him casting a flickering glow on his relaxed face and steepled hands. To the untrained eye, it looked as though the Vulcan First Officer was perfectly relaxed and calm in his meditation. But to one who knew Spock well, it was evident that something was bothering him. Every so often, a muscle ticked in his face, an eye moved behind closed lids; his thoughts were anything but calm.

Spock gave a small huff of frustration, and sat up straighter, as if wishing to begin anew. Just as he began to relax back into his former position, the doorbell chimed.

"Enter," he said, without opening his eyes.

Uhura peered around the door.

"Oh, you're busy. I'll come back later," she said.

"Please, come in," Spock said, his posture not changing as he spoke.

"I don't want to interrupt your meditation," Uhura said, but she stepped inside, as if not willing to take her own advice.

The hint of a smile flickered on Spock's face.

"Not at all," he said. "I find your presence soothing."

Uhura smiled, and slipped off her shoes at the door so that they rested beside Spock's own black Federation-issue pair. Softly, she made her way to where Spock sat, the flickering light of the candles the only light in the room. She sat down across from him.

"I never thought of myself as soothing," she said.

Spock reached across the candles, and took her hand.

"You help me focus my emotions. I have been having trouble doing it lately."

Uhura smiled sadly as she looked down at their joined hands.

"Understandably," she said.

Spock at last opened his eyes, and looked at her.

"I am a Vulcan. I should not struggle so to suppress my emotions."

"Why do you do it then?" Uhura asked.

Spock looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I control my emotions, or my emotions control me," he answered simply.

Uhura nodded, silently accepting this answer.

Spock closed his eyes once more, and there was silence for a long moment. Then, he sighed, and opened his eyes.

"I do not think I will get any farther today. Is there something you wished to speak to me about, Nyota?"

Uhura shook her head.

"I just wanted to see you," she said.

The hint of a smile was back on Spock's face.

"You take very good care of me," he said.

Uhura moved around the circle of candles, to beside him. Spock shifted on his cushion so that there was room for her. With a smile, Uhura laid her head on the stoic Vulcan's shoulder.

"I worry about you," she said.

"You shouldn't," Spock replied.

"I know. But I do anyways. This must be so difficult for you."

Spock knew what she was referring to. The destruction of Vulcan. The loss of his mother. Everything.

"I confess, these emotions are difficult to deal with," Spock said. "But I am attempting to suppress them. They are not logical."

"Is it logical to bury them?" Uhura asked gently. "Won't that just make it worse in the long run?"

Spock sighed.

"It feels sometimes as if I am floating in a sea of emotions, and they are threatening to overwhelm me. The only thing I can do is cling to logic as my life raft, or I will drown. I _need_ logic, Nyota. Without it, these emotions I am feeling will overcome me."

Uhura nodded, understanding.

"How can I help?" she asked.

Spock leaned over, and gently kissed her hair.

"You _are_ helping, just by being here."

Gently, Spock lifted his hand and stroked her silky hair, which tumbled about her shoulders.

They sat in comfortable silence for long minutes, neither needing to say anything. They often spent time like this, not requiring conversation, but merely taking comfort in each other's company.

Uncharacteristically, it was Spock who broke the quiet. He had been deep in thought, his high eyebrows furrowed.

"­­­Nyota?"

"Mmm?" Uhura answered.

"You are very beautiful."

Uhura lifted her head to look at him, surprise written in her features. This was not one of Spock's normal topics of conversation.

"You are a very beautiful woman. You could have chosen anyone. Perhaps someone more suited to your needs and emotions as a human, and yet you chose me."

"Yes."

Spock's brow furrowed.

"Why?"

"Because you're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinated me from the first moment we met. I was drawn in instantly. I was so tired to human men, who only want one thing. You were interested in me for what was inside my head, not what was on top of it."

Spock shifted uncomfortably, looking insecure, if a stoic Vulcan _could_ look insecure.

"But I cannot give you the emotional support that you need. I am not capable of it."

"You're half human," Uhura reminded him.

Spock nodded.

"Yes, but I suppress that side of myself. I wish to be wholly logical and rational. But I cannot think why that would interest you."

"You underestimate yourself," Uhura replied, her fingers stroking his cheek.

"Perhaps. But I cannot help feeling that perhaps you should have chosen a human like Captain Kirk. He is interested in you, you know."

Uhura rolled her eyes.

"I know he is. He is also brash and rude and insensitive. Most human males are. I don't want any of them. I don't want anyone else but you. I love _you_."

"That is not very logical."

Uhura's smile was gentle.

"Love is rarely logical, Spock."

"So I have observed," the Vulcan replied. "I am sorry if I am not always able to express to you how much I care."

Uhura leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss. She pulled back, a smile in her eyes, but Spock wouldn't let her go. He kissed her again, his lips moving with hers in perfect synchronization.

"I already know," Uhura whispered.

Spock leaned his forehead up against hers. She was right – love was rarely logical. What else could account for a half Vulcan commander and his human former student caring for each other as they did? But as they sat there in the flickering light, their arms around each other enjoying the comfortable quiet that only true understanding of the other person brings, Spock decided that it didn't matter so much.

_Author's Note: I saw the Star Trek movie a few days ago, and although I though Spock/Uhura was _weeeeeeird_, I couldn't get it out of my head. There's just something so sweet about the emotionless Vulcan loving the passionate human woman. I just couldn't get this plot bunny to go away, so I decided to get rid of it the only way I knew how – by writing it down. _

_PS, did anyone notice that Scotty was marooned on that ice planet because he transported Admiral Archer's beagle?? LOL! That's got to be my favorite part in the movie! I was laughing so hard in the theater about that, and nobody else around me got it. They were all giving me funny looks. :-P _


End file.
